Different people prefer to convey their ideas and opinions in different ways. Moreover, different people also prefer to take in ideas and opinions from others in different ways.
These different ways in which people approach the process of communication, i.e. the process of conveying and taking in ideas and opinions, are called communication styles.
If you don’t understand your own communication style, it’s difficult to be self-aware while conversing.
If you don’t understand the styles of communication of the people you are conversing with, it’s difficult to optimize your communication approach.
In terms of how people communicate in different situations or with different people, we recognize submissive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, manipulative, and assertive communication styles.
In terms of whether they have a direct or indirect, supporting or controlling communication style, people may be viewed as relators, socializers, thinkers, or directors.
In terms of how they prefer to communicate information, people may be viewed as analytical, intuitive, functional, or personal communicators.
If you already identify with a certain personality type or frequently converse with people of certain personality types, knowledge about the communication styles of these personality types may also help you improve how you receive/convey information.
In this guide, we’ll provide examples of the above-listed styles of communication, talk about their positives and negatives, and shed light on how you can use knowledge about different communicative styles to better understand and communicate with others, but also help others better understand and communicate with you.
The challenges of different communication styles at work
Being part of a team with diverse communication styles can feel like working at the Tower of Babel. In the story of Babel, God punished the Babylonians for attempting to build a structure that would reach the heavens by making them speak different languages. As they could no longer understand each other, they were unable to finish the Tower.
In the workplace, even if everyone speaks the same language, coworkers can have problems understanding each other if they are used to different styles of communication. In such an environment, it can be difficult to get even the simplest message across and thus, get anything done.
Workplace communication is essential for the success of any project. According to some research, as many as 86% of employees feel that poor communication is the number one reason behind workplace failure.
The truth is — no one wants to cause communication difficulties. They usually occur due to coworkers’ clashing styles, which can lead to many challenges.
The differences in these styles can cause misunderstandings, which can result in costly mistakes and missed deadlines. They can obstruct company workflows, making it impossible to move on to the next stage and finish a project.
Different ways in which employees communicate can also create workplace tension, confusion, and stress due to teammates not understanding each other’s motives or misinterpreting others’ remarks. In some cases, people may even feel threatened, offended, or underappreciated.
In the long run, this can have a negative effect on a company’s employee retention, customer relationships, internal processes, sales, etc.
For any organization to function at the optimum level, its teams need to bridge these differences, understand different styles of communication, and work on finding common ground.
Communication styles, division by Bourne (1995)
According to psychologist Edmund J. Bourne Ph.D. and his book titled ”The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook”, we recognize 5 different types of communication styles: submissive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, manipulative, and assertive.
For individuals, these styles of communication may be dominant, or may be used in specific situations or with specific people.
Here’s what each is about in more detail.
Submissive communication style
The submissive style of communication is focused on pleasing other people and avoiding all conflicts.
For submissive communicators, the needs of others are always more important than their own needs.
They often act like other people have more rights than them and more means to contribute in conversations, meetings, discussions, and other types of communication situations.
Common behavioral characteristics of submissive communicators.
When it comes to their general behavior, submissive communicators tend to:
- be apologetic;
- avoid expressing their feelings, opinions, and desires;
- avoid confrontations;
- find it difficult to take on responsibility;
- have difficulties making decisions;
- blame others for events and situations;
- refuse compliments;
- feel like victims.
Common non-verbal behavior of submissive communicators
When it comes to their non-verbal behavior, submissive communicators tend to:
- have a soft voice volume;
- hold their heads down;
- twist and fidget;
- avoid eye contact;
- aim to take up as little space as possible;
- make themselves appear smaller, to avoid having other people notice them.
🎓 Non-verbal behavior is just one out of five common types of communication you may encounter in a business setting. To learn more about the different types of communication, check out our extensive guide to the types of communication.
🔸 Examples of communication with submissive communicators
- A junior and senior product designer are discussing their latest design solution. In order to avoid getting herself into a deep discussion that might cause a conflict in opinions, the junior designer ends the discussion by saying:
- “I’ll let you decide what’s best.”
- In a marketing meeting, an outreach specialist is given another batch of tasks by the marketing director. Although the amount of her work is expected to double in the upcoming period because of this, when asked about whether such an amount of work will be too much and whether it’s best to share the tasks with the rest of the outreach team, the SEO outreach specialist simply replies with:
- “Oh, it’s nothing really, I can easily handle it.”
- An enterprise sales specialist has been promoted to a new position and given a bigger salary, over another enterprise sales specialist who objectively deserved the promotion more. When asked about this by her immediate colleagues, the enterprise sales specialist who got passed over for the promotion replies:
- “Oh, that’s all right; I didn’t want it anyway.”
How people who are communicating with submissive communicators feel
The people who are communicating with submissive communicators are likely to feel:
- frustrated that they’ve been told what they want to hear, rather than facts;
- exasperated over their time being wasted on unproductive communication;
- they no longer want to help the submissive communicator make improvements in communication, as their efforts tend to be indirectly rejected;
- guilty over not knowing what the submissive communicator wants;
- they are in a position to take advantage of the submissive communicator;
- resentful towards the low energy surrounding the submissive communicator.
Pro tip for communicating with submissive communicators
In order to get the most out of your communication with submissive communicators, you can take over the role of the facilitator.
If you want to know what the submissive communicator is really thinking, encourage them to speak by being warm, friendly, and inviting.
In group meetings that involve brainstorming sessions, you can also encourage submissive communicators to share by emphasizing:
“Everyone’s input matters, and there are no stupid ideas, so feel free to share!”
How to be less submissive in communication
While you may be used to submissive behavior in communication and believe you’re being polite and respectful of the other person’s wishes, your perceived unobtrusiveness is actually causing a communication break.
If you want to become a better communicator, first, you need to acknowledge that you’re a worthy contributor to the conversation. Don’t be afraid to voice your opinions and express disagreement. That way, you’ll benefit both you and your interlocutor by helping the communication flow and avoiding a build-up of frustration and workplace tension.
You could also work on improving your non-verbal cues by practicing making eye contact, speaking up, and not fidgeting. Studies have shown that the way you use your body language can impact your emotions, so you can quite literally fake it till you gain more confidence.
In case of disagreement, you can show respect to the other person by acknowledging their point of view first before expressing your concerns.
You can start in one of the following ways:
- “I understand your point of view, but…”
- “I see why you might think that, but…”
- “Your argument makes sense, however…”
If you’re afraid you will come across as arrogant or aggressive while voicing your opinion, you can always soften your presentation with a smile. In online communication, you can’t rely on body language, but you can use emojis to show that you mean well. Chat apps such as Pumble provide myriads of emojis to help you express a range of emotions in a work-friendly manner.
Aggressive communication style
The aggressive style of communication is focused on winning at all costs — which may often happen at the expense of others.
As a sharp contrast to submissive communicators, aggressive communicators value their own needs above everyone else’s and believe their opinions to be the most important in a discussion — which is also how they behave.
They often act like they have more rights and more means to contribute than other people. As a result, the importance of the information they are trying to convey may get overshadowed by the inconsiderate way in which they deliver the said information.
Common behavioral characteristics of aggressive communicators
When it comes to their general behavior, aggressive communicators tend to:
- blame others;
- bully other people;
- be frightening;
- be hostile;
- be threatening;
- be demanding;
- be abrasive;
- be belligerent;
- be explosive;
- be unpredictable;
- be intimidating.
Common non-verbal behavior of aggressive communicators
When it comes to their non-verbal behavior, aggressive communicators tend to:
- use a loud voice volume to get their ideas and opinions across;
- position themselves to seem bigger than others;
- use prominent, sharp, and fast gestures;
- scowl, frown, or glare at others;
- invade other people’s personal space;
- have sarcastic remarks.
🔸 Examples of communication with aggressive communicators
- A discussion about product analytics between two members of a sales team heats up, as the person with an aggressive communication style lashes out on his colleague:
- “You are crazy! That’s not what the numbers mean!”
- A sales manager providing feedback to the newest member of the sales team without much tact. The new sales specialist gets upset, to which the sales manager replies:
- “Stop being whiny! You make me sick!”
- An urgent meeting among the university staff about the location for the annual education seminar, which should be decided by vote, but which ends with the university dean quickly getting bored of the discussion and declaring:
- “That is just about enough of that! We’ll do it my way!”
How people who are communicating with aggressive communicators feel
The people who are communicating with aggressive communicators are likely to feel:
- they need to be defensive and/or withdraw from the discussion;
- they need to be aggressive in return, and fight back;
- resentful and vengeful for how hurt, humiliated, and even exploited they feel while interacting with an aggressive communicator;
- afraid to report mistakes and problems, to avoid being blamed for them;
- generally less respectful towards someone who communicates aggressively.
Pro tip for communicating with aggressive communicators
In order to get the most out of your communication with aggressive communicators, you can actively look out for interruptions and then aim to prevent them.
If the aggressive communicator cuts you off mid-sentence, simply say:
“Hang on, I’m not finished yet.”
How to be less aggressive in communication
A conversation needs to flow both ways to be successful. If you’re aware that your communication style is too aggressive, you’re already a lot closer to becoming a better communicator. It’s best to start by examining your aggressive tendencies and what causes them.
In the meantime, you can make an effort to become friendlier, more approachable, and less threatening in many ways. Start by practicing active listening and truly acknowledging other people’s ideas and feelings. Work on your empathy by putting yourself in others’ shoes and taking a moment to reflect before resorting to explosive behavior, hurting, or demeaning someone.
However, you may also be exhibiting aggressive behavior without even realizing it, especially in online communication.
Following up on a non-urgent issue by mentioning (e.g. @JohnSmith) someone in a public Pumble channel persistently may come across as annoying and aggressive. It’s best to limit your follow-ups or DM the person.
You should also be careful about how you use @channel. Is the notification so important as to ping the members who are currently away? If not, you can use the @here option and not disturb people during their breaks or off-hours.
Another type of aggressive behavior to steer clear of is making “edgy” jokes in the team’s more informal channels. They can easily come across as insensitive and turn out to be offensive to some members of the channel.
Passive-aggressive communication style
The passive-aggressive style of communication involves people appearing passive on the surface, while they are actually indirectly expressing their anger.
The passive-aggressive communicators act this way because they want to act more directly, but find themselves powerless to do so — usually because of inopportune circumstances.
Instead, to vent their anger and dissatisfaction, the passive-aggressive communicators subtly undermine the person they are communicating with, even if this means they’ll worsen their own situation.
Common behavioral characteristics of passive-aggressive communicators
When it comes to their general behavior, passive-aggressive communicators tend to:
- be indirectly aggressive;
- be sarcastic or ironic;
- be devious;
- be unreliable;
- be sulky;
- be patronizing;
- be two-faced (e.g. they are nice to your face, but are secretly trying to sabotage your work efforts or spread rumors about you);
- complain more than other people;
- like gossiping;
- invest efforts into actively harming the other person.
Common non-verbal behavior of passive-aggressive communicators
When it comes to their non-verbal behavior, passive-aggressive communicators tend to:
- speak with a sugary sweet voice, to mask their true intentions and feelings towards you;
- position themselves asymmetrically (e.g. hip trusted out, hand on hip), especially when being patronizing;
- have quick and unexpected gestures;
- invest extra effort to look sweet and innocent;
- stand close during face-to-face conversations, to elicit a false sense of warmth and friendliness.
🔸 Examples of communication with passive-aggressive communicators
- A back-end software developer talking with a front-end software developer about the fixes that need to be done on the latest feature of their travel app. The front-end developer seems to agree with the proposed solutions, but confuses the back-end developer by ending the conversation with:
- “OK, we’ll do it your way! After all, you always know better than me.”
- An emergency physician finishing his shift. He has trouble opening his office, and tells a nearby emergency room nurse:
- “Oh, don’t worry about me, I’ll figure this out on my own like I always have to.”
- A college professor with a Ph.D. undermining a college assistant who’s yet to obtain her Ph.D. degree:
- “You did brilliantly for someone of your education and experience.”
How people who are communicating with passive-aggressive communicators feel
The people who are communicating with passive-aggressive communicators are likely to feel:
- confused at the contrast between what the passive-aggressive communicators are saying and what they are actually communicating;
- hurt and resentful when they realize that the said contrast is deliberate;
- angry when the behavior persists — to such an extent that they may want to retaliate.
Pro tip for communicating with passive-aggressive communicators
In order to get the most out of your communication with passive-aggressive communicators, you should directly ask them to be direct.
If the passive-aggressive communicator is constantly late for meetings (which may indicate they dislike the location or the time of the meetings, or the manner in which the meetings are conducted), confront them about this directly:
“Sarah, I’d appreciate it if you were to arrive on time to meetings. Is there a specific reason why you tend to be late for meetings?”.
You may also want to confront them in private, to ease the chances that the passive-aggressive communicator will become defensive.
How to be less passive-aggressive in communication
People often resort to this style of communication to avoid confrontation, but passive-aggression is a kind of aggressive behavior. If you catch yourself being passive-aggressive often, you need to work on becoming better at communicating your frustrations and being direct.
Remember — expressing dissatisfaction doesn’t have to result in conflict. It’s much better to be direct about what’s bothering you, resolve it right away, and enjoy your day than simmer in anger in silence.
Leadership coach Peter Bregman has proposed a three-step process to overcome passive-aggressive behavior in any situation. Say you’re the person always late to the meetings from the example above because you dislike the time of the meetings. Here’s how you would handle the situation using the three-step method:
- Ask why. Ask if there’s a particular reason why meetings need to take place at that time expressing genuine curiosity.
- State your point of view. Say why it might make more sense to move the meetings to another time slot.
- Request a change if your argument stands. Ask to move the meetings.
Passive-aggressive cues can sneak up on you even in Pumble channels. Did you know that many emojis now read as passive-aggressive and you should avoid them?
The classic smiley face (🙂) has become synonymous with sarcasm, irony, and patronizing attitude. The upside-down version of it (🙃)is even worse — nothing more frightening than seeing “No problem” followed by this trickster in a chat. A great alternative that won’t be misinterpreted is a grinning emoji (😃).
Another example is widely used, but many are unaware of its flipside connotation — the thumbs-up (👍). Apart from its most common use, the thumbs-up can also be a polite and indirect way to “flip someone the bird” while agreeing on the surface.
It’s best to avoid this emoji altogether or pair it with a grinning smiley.
Manipulative communication style
The manipulative style of communication involves shrewd behavior a person takes on in order to achieve the wanted outcomes.
Manipulative communicators will scheme and calculate to influence and control others to do their bidding.
The thoughts, opinions, and ideas they convey may have underlying meaning — meaning others may not be aware of at first.
Common behavioral characteristics of manipulative communicators
When it comes to their general behavior, manipulative communicators tend to:
- be cunning;
- know exactly how to get what they want from the person they need it from;
- sulk in order to elicit certain emotions and reactions from others;
- ask for what they want or need indirectly;
- make others feel obliged to them, or sorry for them, in some way;
- fish for compliments.
Common non-verbal behavior of manipulative communicators
When it comes to their non-verbal behavior, manipulative communicators tend to:
- have a high pitched voice that reveals a patronizing or envious streak;
- have guilty or ashamed facial expressions.
🔸 Examples of communication with manipulative communicators:
- “I’m sorry, I don’t know how to work the coffee machine.” says a senior bank clerk to another bank clerk who’s just started today. The senior bank clerk knows how the coffee machine works, but wants the new bank clerk to seem incompetent in front of the bank manager who’s making tea next to them;
- “I’ve only contacted 100 leads today, I hope I’ll be better tomorrow!” declares a senior sales specialist in front of the director of sales and the rest of the sales team, hoping to encourage them to compliment him.
How people who are communicating with manipulative communicators feel
The people who are communicating with manipulative communicators are likely to feel:
- guilty, if it’s hinted they’ve not lived up to the advertised expectations;
- frustrated, as it’s difficult to tell what a manipulative communicator really wants, and how sincere they are being — at least at first;
- angry or annoyed at the antics of the manipulative communicator — this anger and annoyance may build up to an open conflict;
- resentful at the antics of the manipulative communicator, to the point that they may seek retaliation.
Pro tip for communicating with manipulative communicators
In order to get the most out of your communication with manipulative communicators, you should directly call them out for such behavior.
According to an article by Preston Ni M.S.B.A. in Psychology Today, you should ask probing questions to see whether the manipulative communicator in question has some degree of self-awareness that will encourage them to withdraw their request or simply back down.
“Does what you’re asking me to do sound fair? Does it seem reasonable to you?”
How to be less manipulative in communication
Manipulative behavior might get you what you want at first, but it will bring you resentment and distrust from your colleagues in the long run. In many cases, it can have the opposite effect of what you hoped to achieve.
To be a better communicator, you need to become aware of the ways in which you manipulate others and question your motives. If you want someone to do something, ask them directly instead of trying to appeal to them emotionally and get them to offer their help.
Also, look for the subtle ways in which you might be manipulating coworkers. For example, having people wait for your answer in the chat deliberately is manipulative, especially if you’re their higher-up.
Ask yourself what the ulterior motive is. Do you secretly want to make them feel unimportant or have them worry if the question was stupid or if they’ve done something wrong? On the other hand, when reaching out to a colleague over an app like Pumble, be direct and precise about what you want. Don’t send only a “hi” and a smiley to trick the person into responding right away, only to trap them in a discussion about a complicated issue that will take time, which they would rather have left for later.
Assertive communication style
The assertive style of communication emerges from self-esteem and represents the healthiest and most effective style of communication you can adopt.
Assertive communicators are neither too passive nor too aggressive — instead, they have the ability to communicate directly and effectively, without resorting to passive-aggressiveness or manipulation.
Moreover, assertive communicators have equal regard towards their own and other people’s needs and rights.
Common behavioral characteristics of assertive communicators:
When it comes to their general behavior, assertive communicators tend to:
- aim to fulfill their needs and rights, without hurting the needs and right of others;
- respect the needs and rights of other people, without neglecting their own needs and rights;
- be socially supportive;
- be emotionally expressive;
- make their own decisions, but take full responsibility for the outcomes of their decisions;
- ask for what they want directly, but with regards to others;
- have no problems accepting compliments.
Common non-verbal behavior of assertive communicators:
When it comes to their non-verbal behavior, assertive communicators tend to:
- talk with a medium voice pitch, speed, and volume;
- have an open, relaxed posture;
- avoid twisting and fidgeting, or aiming to appear smaller or more imposing than they actually are;
- maintain eye contact while communicating;
- have relaxed, natural gestures;
- be respectful of other people’s personal space.
🔸 Examples of communication with assertive communicators
- A customer support specialist having difficulties focusing on the latest user ticket because the app’s front-end developer is listening to music on her speakers. The customer support specialist knocks on her cubicle and says:
- “Please Linda, could you turn the volume down, or use headphones? I’m working on the newest set of user tickets and have difficulties focusing on them because of the music.”
- A CTO of a time zone converter app wants to have a call with a potential client interested in the self-hosted version of the said app. He asks his product manager to join the call on Friday at 10 am. The product manager replies the following:
- “I am sorry, but I won’t be able to join in on that call. I have a doctor’s appointment scheduled for that time, and have already taken half of that day off because of it.”
How people who are communicating with assertive communicators feel
The people who are communicating with assertive communicators are likely to feel:
- they can trust the assertive communicator;
- they understand what the person is trying to communicate;
- they can offer criticism without triggering a negative reaction;
- they can respect the person;
- they don’t need to go out of their way to make the assertive communicator feel comfortable and secure;
Pro tip for communicating with assertive communicators
The best you can do when communicating with assertive communicators is to mimic their healthy and efficient style of communication.
Listen to them attentively, positively assert yourself, agree to disagree with them (if applicable), ask for their opinions, and aim to be open and honest in communication.
“I propose we pick this color scheme for the product. What do you think?”
How to be more assertive in communication
No matter your communication style, you can strive to become more assertive. Since assertiveness is built on self-confidence, you need to understand your worth and respect your rights, needs, and wants, but you also need to respect others in order to be a successful communicator.
You can start by voicing your opinions, ideas, and concerns and asking for what you want directly and in a neutral tone.
You shouldn’t let your judgment get clouded by frustration and other excessive emotions. If you need time to cool off, take it before you act.
You can express criticism or disagreement without sounding judgmental by using “I” statements. For example, instead of saying:
“You have done a terrible job!”
You can say:
“I feel you could have done better on this project.”
Learn to say “No” decidedly but politely. If your boss wants to put you on a new project when you’re already busy, you can say something like this:
“While I understand the importance of starting the new project early, I’m afraid I won’t be able to begin working on it until I have finished the one I’m currently busy with.”
Then, you can propose a compromise:
“However, I could set up a quick meeting with the team this week to give them a couple of guidelines on how to begin. If that doesn’t work, I can start the new project first thing on Monday. Let me know what you think.”
Respect your time and boundaries and let your team know they can’t contact you on your break or during off-hours. Instead of having your phone vibrate every two seconds while you’re trying to eat lunch, pause notifications in the team chat. On Pumble, you can set up a notification schedule that works for you so that you don’t have to do it manually every day.
Communication styles, division by Alessandra & Hunsaker (1993)
According to another division of communication styles, defined by Alessandra & Hunsaker in their book “Communication at Work”, we recognize 4 communication styles, which are based on two dimensions:
- Direct vs indirect styles of communication;
- Supporting vs controlling styles of communication.
The 4 communication styles in question are relators, socializers, thinkers, and directors.
Here’s what each of the 4 styles and 2 dimensions is about in more detail:
Direct vs indirect communication styles
The direct vs indirect dimension describes observable behavior and divides people into direct talkers and indirect talkers.
- Direct talkers tend to:
- be assertive and take charge;
- dominate meetings with their outspoken communication;
- radiate self-confidence;
- maintain eye contact;
- have firm handshakes;
- express their opinions openly;
- talk faster and louder in general;
- have a bold visual appearance;
- speak in aggressive tones;
- be impatient, competitive, and confrontational in general.
- Indirect talkers tend to:
- hesitate to contribute in meetings, due to their more tentative communication approach;
- take initiative at social gatherings slower;
- preface their statements with qualifications in the line of “According to my sources…” and “I’m not sure, but…”
- conform about unimportant matters, but argue if they have strong convictions about something;
- listen to others more;
- have gentle handshakes;
- be more reserved;
- be more cautious;
- talk slower and with a lower volume;
- be more conservative in their visual appearance;
- be more patient, diplomatic, and cooperative in general.
Supporting vs controlling communication styles
The supporting vs controlling dimension describes the “why” aspect of the communication process, and whether the communicators are people-oriented (supporting) or task-oriented (controlling).
- People-oriented (supporting) communicators tend to:
- maintain closer proximity with the people they are communicating with;
- share feelings, in the sense that they have no problem expressing confusion, joy, sadness, and other emotions;
- use more informal speech patterns;
- prefer relaxed, warmer relationships;
- enjoy amusing conversations;
- like to share personal stories and anecdotes;
- pay less notice if someone is objectively wasting their time;
- base their decisions around their feelings, but also the feelings of others;
- have active facial expressions;
- have animated physical gestures;
- be contact-oriented.
- Task-oriented (controlling) communicators tend to:
- keep their distance from others while communicating;
- base their decisions around facts;
- share their feelings less;
- prefer working alone;
- pay less attention to the opinions and feelings of other people;
- excel at time management;
- dislike digressions;
- use more formal speech patterns;
- use fewer facial expressions;
- be guarded emotionally, physically, and mentally;
- avoid being boisterous;
- avoid being rowdy.
Now that we understand the dimensions that shape their communication, let’s look at how relators, socializers, thinkers, and directors communicate.
Relators are characterized by a supporting and indirect communication style.
They usually care more about the feelings of the people they are communicating with than the effectiveness of their tasks.
They tend to:
- avoid conflict;
- enjoy personal relationships.
Positive traits of relators
When it comes to the positive traits of people who have a relating communication style, relators tend to:
- be great team players;
- be loyal to their cause;
- be willing to share responsibilities;
- be risk-averse;
- excel at active listening;
- plan everything thoroughly, and then follow through with their plans;
- have a relaxed disposition;
- have a warm and approachable conduct;
Negative traits of relators
When it comes to the negative traits of people who have a relating communication style, relators tend to:
- be reluctant to express themselves;
- struggle with setting goals;
- may not always speak up to voice their concerns, even if they don’t agree with what’s being discussed;
- lack assertiveness.
How to talk with a relator
The key point to know when talking with a relator is to aim to make the interaction personal.
To make the most of your communication with a relator, you should also:
- be patient when trying to establish rapport and while waiting for the relator to think about the points you’ve raised;
- seek a mutual agreement about the goals and deadlines;
- show interest in the relator as a person;
- explain how certain changes and innovations can benefit the relators, to reduce their fears;
- follow through with your promises;
- exhibit warmth when communicating.
🔸 An example of successful communication with a relator
A CTO wants her full-stack software developer, who fits the description of a relator in terms of style of communication, to tweak the sorting feature in their time zone converter app, so that it sorts cities the user wants to compare in terms of time zone by geographical location, and not alphabetically. The CTO starts the conversation by disclosing some benefits of such a change, being patient while the full-stack developer considers the actual value of such a feature, and asking for the optimal time for a deadline if the feature has been greenlit.
How to be a better communicator when you’re a relator
The main thing to remember if you want to improve your communication as a relator is not to let interpersonal relationships stand in the way of getting things done.
To become better at communicating, you should:
- voice your opinions and concerns;
- learn not to shy away from conflict;
- remember it’s not your responsibility to take care of everyone’s personal problems;
- not let emotions cloud your judgment;
- try to set SMART goals and stick to them;
- get more comfortable with change.
Socializers are characterized by a supporting and direct communication style.
Their strongest stimulus are the admiration, compliments, and acknowledgment they may get from others. Socializers tend to influence and stimulate others in a friendly and positive way.
They also tend to:
- crave interactions and contact with other people;
- act and make decisions spontaneously;
- act enthusiastically and lively;
- think emotionally;
- avoid conflicts;
- like innovations.
Positive traits of socializers
When it comes to the positive traits of people who have a socializing communication style, socializers tend to be:
- easy to cooperate with;
Negative traits of socializers
When it comes to the negative traits of people who have a socializing communication style, socializers tend to:
- come across as manipulative and impetuous when they display behavior that is inappropriate to the current situation;
- overlook crucial facts and details, which may lead them to exaggerate and generalize issues and concepts;
- need help getting organized;
- get involved in too many activities;
- exhibit a short attention-span;
- be overly concerned with the approval of others;
- be overly impatient.
How to talk with a socializer
The key point to know when talking with a socializer is to make the interaction fun and lively.
To make the most of your communication with a socializer, you should also:
- invest some time into building a relationship with the socializer;
- skip the boring or unimportant details while conversing;
- be clear on duties and responsibilities during meetings;
- put what you’ve agreed on during a verbal conversation in writing, to help the socializer remember what has been agreed on;
- avoid criticizing them directly;
- try to motivate them with praise where and when due.
🔸 An example of successful communication with a socializer
The director of a customer support team wants her new customer support specialist, who fits the description of socializer in terms of communication style, to take on his first ticket.
While providing additional explanations about the expected workflow (e.g. “Take tickets in the order they are added, unless there are tickets that are marked as priorities”) and performance indicators (e.g. “Aim to complete the routine tickets in 30 minutes or less”), the customer support director skips the details and focuses on the gist of the duties and responsibilities of the new customer support specialist. She also provides praise for how he handled his first ticket.
In the end, she sends him an onboarding document so that he has the expected workflows, performance indicators, and other information relevant for his duties and responsibilities available in written form.
How to be a better communicator when you’re a socializer
As a socializer, you have no problem building rapport with your coworkers and motivating them, but you need to work on your focus and persistence.
To become a better communicator, a socializer should:
- work on their organization skills;
- learn to self-validate instead of seeking approval from others;
- pay more attention to details;
- be careful not to overwhelm or distract quieter coworkers;
- pay attention to whether they’re being manipulative (e.g., coercing someone into complimenting them);
- respect others’ boundaries.
Thinkers are characterized by a controlling and indirect communication style.
They focus on expectations and outcomes, so they base their communication around questions about how something should work, to determine whether something really works.
They tend to:
- ask more questions;
- prefer organization and structure in work;
- have a logical and task-oriented way of thinking.
Positive traits of thinkers
When it comes to the positive traits of people who have a thinking communication style, thinkers tend to:
- be accurate;
- be independent;
- excel at problem solving and organization;
- excel at providing clarifications;
- excel at following through.
Negative traits of thinkers
When it comes to the negative traits of people who have a thinking communication style, thinkers tend to:
- aim to always be right;
- be perfectionists who overanalyze;
- be overly critical if they think a process is not going according to plan.
How to talk with a thinker
The key point to know when talking with a thinker is to aim to make the interaction accurate.
To make the most of your communication with a thinker, you should also:
- avoid small talk and too much socializing;
- give them time to think about what you’re talking about, before replying;
- be prepared to answer questions with precision;
- be prepared to provide additional figures and facts;
- put what you’ve agreed on in writing;
- keep your promises.
🔸 An example of successful communication with a thinker
Two history professors are discussing the lesson plans for the following week.
Considering that they both fit the description of thinkers in terms of their communication style, they’re avoiding small talk, focusing on precise details (e.g. the number of minutes they plan to spend on each class activity), and writing down what they agreed on, as they agree on it.
How to be a better communicator when you’re a thinker
The biggest communication challenge of thinkers is that they’re too entrenched in facts and figures. They could benefit from loosening up from time to time.
To become better communicators, thinkers should:
- try to engage in water cooler talk with their colleagues every now and then;
- learn to step away from details and look at a bigger picture;
- accept that they’re not always right;
- work to overcome perfectionism as it can be debilitating and make their ideas rigid;
- strive to become more open to change/risk.
Directors are characterized by a controlling and direct communication style.
They are usually described as action-oriented leaders who are focused primarily on results.
They tend to:
- like being in control during communication;
- have leadership skills;
- prefer to act, rather than wait.
Positive traits of directors
When it comes to the positive traits of people who have a directing communication style, directors tend to:
- be independent;
- work quickly, even when working alone;
- make the extra effort to overcome obstacles as fast as possible;
- have great delegation skills;
- have great administration skills;
- like initiating changes.
Negative traits of directors
When it comes to the negative traits of people who have a directing communication style, directors tend to:
- be stubborn;
- be impatient;
- be tough;
- have a low tolerance for the feelings of others.
How to talk with a director
The key point to know when talking with a director is to aim to make the interaction fast.
To make the most of communicating with a director, you should also:
- be clear;
- be precise;
- be concrete;
- be prepared to provide quick solutions;
- provide step-by-step guides on how goals can be obtained;
- avoid emotional arguments;
- avoid small talk;
- avoid disclosing too much detail;
- highlight crucial points.
🔸 An example of successful communication with a director
A marketing director having a meeting with the company’s CEO, who fits the description of a director in terms of communication style, about the marketing strategies for the upcoming period.
To say what she wants as efficiently as possible, the marketing director shows a step-by-step guide on how the marketing strategy she’s proposing can help the company obtain its goals. She is also investing extra effort to be clear, precise, concrete, and fast, and to highlight only the crucial details.
How to be a better communicator when you’re a director
A director can be a fearless risk-taker who gets the job done efficiently, but their biggest problem in communication is that they can come across as aggressive and intimidating.
Directors should do the following if they want to become better communicators:
- try to be more considerate of other people’s feelings;
- be more open to others’ ideas and criticism;
- try to build genuine rapport with colleagues;
- work on their teamwork skills;
- strive to become more patient.
Communication styles, division by Murphy et al.
According to Mark Murphy and his team at Leadership IQ, who have spent a decade researching interpersonal communication, we recognize 4 styles of communication: the analytical, intuitive, functional, and personal style of communication.
These styles of communication describe how we prefer to communicate information.
According to a Forbes article and survey that relies on the report by The Economist Intelligence Unit and Lucidhart, as much as 42% of survey respondents who identify with at least one of the above-listed communication styles, cite the differences in these styles as the leading cause of miscommunication at work. But, in contrast, as much as 52% of survey respondents also declare that they enjoy communicating with people who have different communication styles — so, there is hope for a conscious effort towards improvements that will minimize miscommunication.
The above-mentioned Economist report also found that 63% of respondents find that the key to improving communication is in using a wider range of communication tools, whether it be emails or other types of communication channels.
Here’s what each of these communication styles is about in more detail, as described by Murphy and his team.
The analytical communication style
People who have an analytical communication style are focused on — data.
In communication, they appreciate people who use specific language and enjoy conversing about facts and figures — if you don’t have the facts and figures to support your claims, you may lose credibility in the eyes of an analytical communicator.
🔸 An example of communication with an analytical communicator:
During a daily meeting, a sales specialist declares that his findings show that “sales are positive”. The director of sales is unsatisfied with such phrasing and asks: “What do positive sales mean? Are they positive by 10%? Or 5%? What are the exact numbers?”
Main positive side: Considering that analytical communicators are capable of having an unemotional view of a situation, they are also capable of analyzing and drawing conclusions about issues logically, factually, and objectively.
Main negative side: On the same note, an overly unemotional view on situations may make the analytical communicators come across as cold and/or detached by others — especially by personal communicators.
Tips for communication with an analytical communicator
As mentioned, to appeal to an analytical communicator, you should be direct and specific. They don’t appreciate their interlocutors’ slipping into detours and irrelevant data, so stay on-point. You should also avoid small talk and focus on business. Avoid personal subjects — they’re not the type to offer a shoulder to cry on.
Tips for communication when you’re an analytical communicator
As an analytical communicator, you could benefit from being friendlier to coworkers and showing more tolerance for chattier and warmer personalities. Understand that not everyone processes information like you and has a propensity for crunching numbers and try to be more patient when someone gets distracted.
The personal communication style
People who have a personal communication style are focused on — emotions.
In communication, personal communicators value emotional language and establishing a connection with the people they are communicating with. They tend to be diplomats and excel at listening, because they find great value in assessing how other people think and feel.
🔸 An example of communication with a personal communicator:
While discussing the color scheme for their newest product, a product designer notices that their newest junior product designer seems upset over being overlooked for ideas. She makes the effort to make the junior product designer feel more included and appreciated by addressing him: “James, you’re a fresh perspective in the team, what do you think about the proposals for the color scheme?”
Main positive side: Personal communicators often serve as the glue that holds everything together — they are attuned to other people’s feelings and opinions which helps them smooth over conflicts and encourage others to share ideas and opinions.
Main negative side: The emotional side of personal communicators serves as both their upside and their downside — they may be viewed as overly emotional individuals who can easily get upset, especially from the point of view of analytical communicators. Moreover, their emotional side may drive them to avoid conflict, even when a battle of opinions may be the most productive outcome.
Tips for communication with a personal communicator
Before delving into business with personal communicators, it’s best to take a little time to get to know them and acknowledge them as human beings first. Make them feel their point of view is valuable and check in with them regularly to see how they feel about a certain idea, decision, or the like. Feel free to use emotionally charged language and avoid speaking matter-of-factly.
Tips for communication when you’re a personal communicator
When talking to your more analytical colleagues, try not to take their straight-to-business manner personally. Respect the fact that some people don’t want to engage in warm and fuzzy relationships, especially at work. Moreover, don’t hesitate to express disagreement just because you fear it might result in conflict.
The intuitive communication style
People who have an intuitive communication style are focused on — the big picture.
In communication, they dislike excessive details and prefer broad overviews to a perfect ordering of events or explanation of the issue/situation.
They are action-oriented, focused more on results than the process that will get them there. In line with that, they favor brief conversations that cut right to the chase.
🔸 An example of communication with an intuitive communicator:
During a one-to-one conversation between a financial services officer and a financial consultant, the financial services officer starts disclosing details about the account of a client who wishes to invest in stocks. The financial services officer feels like the details are excessive and exclaims: “Let’s just focus on the current financial position of the client, and go from there.”
Main positive side: Considering that intuitive communicators prefer to-the-point conversations, they won’t get tangled in little, insignificant details. Their habit to look at the bigger picture may also help them find innovative, new solutions to old problems that suffer from inadequate processes.
Main negative side: On the same note, the briefness intuitive communicators favor while communicating means they may lack patience during situations that require a more detailed, prolonged approach. In such situations, these communicators may miss a crucial detail while looking at the bigger picture — which may especially frustrate functional communicators.
Tips for communication with an intuitive communicator
If you want to capture the attention of this type of communicator, you need to paint in broad strokes or you will lose them. This is especially important if you’re trying to pitch them an idea — don’t bother them with the details of planning and execution. Instead, focus on the why and email them the how.
Tips for communication when you’re an intuitive communicator
It’s great that you’re a visionary and a person of action, but you should also express interest in the processes and not just the results. These bits of information will help you discover any potential bottlenecks and even deal-breakers before it’s too late and allow you to better explain your ideas.
The functional communication style
People who have a functional communication style are focused on — processes.
In communication, functional communicators dislike the cut-to-the-chase, speedy conversations preferred by intuitive communicators. In contrast, they like to focus on details and processes, and take their time while looking for solutions and new ideas.
🔸 An example of communication with a functional communicator:
The head of pediatrics talking with a pediatrician who is in charge of a recently admitted patient. The head of pediatrics asks for all the details disclosed by the mother of the patient and takes a longer time to figure out the details that may turn out to be important triggers for the patient’s condition. While looking for the right treatment, the head of pediatrics is methodical, process-driven, and detailed-oriented.
Main positive side: A functional communicator is unlikely to miss crucial details in a concept, idea, or a plan, no matter how small and insignificant this detail may appear to other people.
Main negative side: Considering that they prefer to take their time while thinking about or explaining something, functional communicators risk losing the attention of their intended audience — especially if the said audience includes intuitive communicators.
Tips for communication with a functional communicator
When you want to discuss an idea with a functional communicator, you better come prepared! They will want to hear all the technical details and will easily poke holes in your plan. You can use their scrupulousness to test the viability of your ideas. Feel free to leave out the big talk and trying to serenade them and focus on the practical side of the issue at hand.
Tips for communication when you’re a functional communicator
Try to estimate what social situations call for thorough explanations and which don’t. For example, if you’re trying to sell an idea or product, you don’t want to bore potential buyers with the technical how-to on the first meeting. You can leave that part for your internal team discussions and instead focus on how your product will fit their vision/need.
The communication styles of different MBTI personality types
When talking about communication styles, we can also argue that they may be tied to our personality types.
According to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, which is a personality questionnaire built on the theoretical framework of analytical psychologist Carl Jung and constructed by Katharine Cook Briggs and Isabel Briggs Myers, we recognize 16 different personality types.
These personality types are based on 4 categories, presented in dualities:
- Introversion (I) — Extraversion (E) — This category describes how people direct and receive energy:
- Introverts tend to direct energy towards the inner world and receive energy by reflecting on their experiences and ideas.
- Extroverts tend to direct energy towards the outside world and receive energy by interacting with others and taking concrete action.
- Sensing (S) — Intuition (N) — This category describes how people take in information.
- Sensing people tend to prefer to take in information that is in some way tangible — i.e. they focus on what they perceive using their five senses.
- Intuitive people tend to prefer to take in information by observing the bigger picture — i.e. they focus on the bigger patterns and relationships between concepts.
- Thinking (T) — Feeling (F) — This category describes how people come to conclusions.
- Thinkers come to conclusions and make decisions based on objective truths and logic.
- Feelers come to conclusions and make decisions based on the personal and social values they hold.
- Judging (J) — Perceiving (P) — This category describes how people approach the outside world.
- Judging people approach the outside world in an organized, more planned manner — their main objective is to come to conclusions quickly and move on.
- Perceiving people approach the outside world in a spontaneous, more flexible manner — their main objective is to get more information before making conclusions.
A quick overview of the MBTI personality types
The combination of the above-listed elements forms the 16 personality types, divided into 4 groups: Analysts, Diplomats, Sentinels, and Explorers.
The “MBTI Manual”, published by CPP, has disclosed the percentage of the general population who belong to each personality type.
As a group, Analysts are viewed as intuitive thinkers. They include the following personality types:
- The Architects (INTJs) — with a global share of 2.1%;
- The Commanders (ENTJs) — with a global share of 1.8%;
- The Logicians (INTPs) — with a global share of 3.3%;
- The Debaters (ENTPs) — with a global share of 3.2%.
As a group, Diplomats are viewed as intuitive feelers. They include the following personality types:
- The Advocates (INFJs) — with a global share of 1.5%;
- The Protagonists (ENFJs) — with a global share of 2.5%;
- The Mediators (INFPs) — with a global share of 4.4%;
- The Campaigners (ENFPs) — with a global share of 8.1%.
As a group, Sentinels are viewed as having sensing and judging qualities. They include the following personality types:
- The Logisticians (ISTJs) — with a global share of 11.6%;
- The Executives (ESTJs) — with a global share of 8.7%;
- The Defenders (ISFJs) — with a global share of 13.8%;
- The Consuls (ESFJs) — with a global share of 12.4%.
As a group, Explorers are viewed as having sensing and perceiving qualities. They include the following personality types:
- The Crafters (ISTPs) — with a global share of 5.4%
- The Entrepreneurs (ESTPs) — with a global share of 4.3%
- The Adventurers (ISFPs) — with a global share of 8.8%
- The Entertainers (ESFPs) — with a global share of 8.5%
Criticism of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is a popular instrument for personality assessments — but, it has also garnered its fair share of criticism. Some experts claim that this personality test is riddled with the following faults:
- It represents only stereotypes of personalities, unlikely to describe individuals;
- It represents an overly rigid classification that does not allow a mix of preferences;
- It appears accurate only due to the Barnum effect that has individuals believe that overly generalized personality descriptions apply to them alone;
- One’s MBTI personality type may change over time, which is evident by people who take the test multiple times and get different results.
However, according to Aqualus M. Gordon Ph.D. at Psychology Today, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is no less reliable than other instruments for determining one’s personality traits.
In any case, depending on whether you identify yourself or others as introverted or extroverted, sensing or intuiting, thinking or feeling, judging or perceiving — and having in mind that employees simply can’t be summed up by a personality test in the first place — the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator may provide some guidelines that can help you gain a better understanding of your communication style, as well as the styles of people around you.
So, here are the characteristics of each personality type, in terms of their communication styles.
The communication styles of Architects (INTJs)
Architects (INTJs) are people who have Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Judging personality traits.
They tend to have a thirst for knowledge, aim to find a creative and rational solution to every problem, and like to surround themselves with people who share their beliefs and values.
But, they may also be perfectionists and come across as insensitive in certain situations.
When it comes to their style of communication, INTJs tend to be well-thought-out, calm, and to the point.
Due to their introverted nature, INTJs may sometimes come across as distant and closed when conversing with others — but, this is usually just their way of revising their thoughts and forming opinions and conclusions about what’s being discussed.
They tend to be direct and detached in conversations, providing criticism in a straightforward, but logical manner.
Tips for communication with Architects (INTJs):
INTJs respect authenticity, creativity, and level-headedness in their interlocutors. When discussing a topic with them, focus on its conceptual aspect, i.e., the big picture. It’s important to be logical when talking to them but not get stuck in minutiae. Don’t be afraid to engage in a good debate and entertain unconventional ideas with them. Refrain from getting emotional.
Tips for communication when you’re an Architect (INTJ):
Try to understand and respect that some people make what might seem like illogical decisions when they’re emotionally involved in an issue. When collaborating on a project, remember that the success of any strategy depends on its practical details — don’t neglect them.
The communication styles of Commanders (ENTJs)
Commanders (ENTJs) are people who have Extroverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Judging personality traits.
They tend to be great at spotting problems, make decisions based on logical information, and have strong leadership skills.
But, they may also come across as impatient and intolerant in certain situations.
When it comes to their style of communication, ENTJs tend to be assertive and outspoken — they are always ready to share their opinions, but also want to hear the opinions of others.
They tend to be objective, strategic, direct, and confident while conversing with others, and have no problem providing critical feedback when they spot a flaw in someone’s idea or opinions.
Tips for communication with Commanders (ENTJs):
ENTJs enjoy direct and confident interlocutors. When discussing a problem with them, don’t steer away from the topic and make sure your presentation is on-point. Refrain from making emotional appeals and base your arguments on logic and reason.
Tips for communication when you’re a Commander (ENTJ):
When providing critical feedback, try to do it with more tact so as not to appear accusatory and intimidating. Show more patience for people of different communication styles, who take longer to get to the point.
The communication styles of Logicians (INTPs)
Logicians (INTPs) are people who have Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Perceiving personality traits.
They tend to love theoretical concepts, are often reserved and thoughtful, and like to focus on the bigger picture rather than the details.
But, they may also struggle to follow rules and may be prone to bouts of self-doubt.
When it comes to their communication style, INTPs tend to be well-thought-out, curious, and focused on details.
They enjoy probing questions that start debates and discussions, and will be quick to point out logical flaws in an idea or opinion.
Tips for communication with Logicians (INTPs):
INTPs love to talk to an open-minded and logical person. When collaborating with them on a project, don’t impose any unnecessary rules and procedures as they often take unconventional paths to the optimum solution, being intuitive communicators. When discussing a topic with them, explore it from many perspectives. Don’t pry into their personal life too much.
Tips for communication when you’re a Logician (INTP):
Try not to be nitpicky in conversation — sometimes, small mistakes (such as grammar slips) are often irrelevant for the greater subject at hand, so abstain from overcorrecting. Resist the urge to get too absorbed into the theoretical system behind the subject of discussion and strive to be more aware of your interlocutor as a person, as well as your surroundings.
The communication styles of Debaters (ENTPs)
Debaters (ENTPs) are people who have Extroverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Perceiving personality traits.
They tend to be idea-oriented, innovative, creative, and enjoy questioning concepts.
But, they may become overly argumentative in certain situations and may lack the patience it takes to explain their ideas in detail.
When it comes to their communication style, ENTPs tend to come across as precise, objective, agile, and confident communicators.
They enjoy conversing in groups, and offering their independent and often innovative views on the topics discussed.
Tips for communication with Debaters (ENTPs):
ENTPs love curiosity and analytical thinking in others. When discussing ideas with them, they enjoy a good brainstorming session, so be prepared to pitch novel ideas and explore them theoretically. Refrain from making unsupported assumptions and leading a conversation with emotions as this will annoy them.
Tips for communication when you’re a Debater (ENTP):
Although your mind tends to race ahead of the debate, try to slow down and be more patient in explaining your arguments to others. Speaking of arguments — refrain from playing the devil’s advocate for sport with everyone as some people may get annoyed.
The communication styles of Advocates (INFJs)
Advocates (INFJs) are people who have Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging personality traits.
They tend to be reserved, creative, idealistic, focused on the future, and sensitive to the needs of others.
But, they may also have overly high expectations and come across as overly sensitive individuals.
When it comes to their style of communication, INFJs tend to be reserved in communication and keep their insights and opinions to themselves. This may sometimes be the case simply because they want time to process new information and think thoroughly about new ideas before they share them.
When they do share their ideas, they tend to seek validation from others, but will also appreciate and actively seek value in the ideas of others.
Tips for communication with Advocates (INFJs):
INFJs appreciate analytic, resourceful, and conscientious people. The best way to get their interest is to show them how your idea fits in the big picture. If there’s a humanitarian aspect to it, you’ll gain their deep respect. If mid-conversation they suddenly appear reserved, don’t overthink it as they often need time to reflect quietly.
Tips for communication when you’re an Advocate (INFJ):
When faced with a disagreement or a challenge to your ideas, try not to take it personally. Don’t hesitate to state your arguments and consider when it might be beneficial not to shy away from conflict. Beware that your silence on any matter may sometimes be misinterpreted so try to speak up more often.
The communication styles of Protagonists (ENFJs)
Protagonists (ENFJs) are people who have Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging personality traits.
They tend to be empathic, encouraging to others, and well-organized.
But, they may also be indecisive and prone to seeking approval.
When it comes to their style of communication, ENFJs tend to be persuasive, affectionate, and encouraging communicators.
They want to understand what other people find important, so that they can improve the situation for all the people they are conversing with.
They are great problem-solvers, but they also enjoy hearing new ideas and opinions — in such cases, they will make the effort to show that these new ideas and opinions are valued.
Tips for communication with Protagonists (ENFJs):
ENFJs can find common ground with all kinds of communicators, but they enjoy openness, warmth, and bonhomie the most in others. In communication with them, focus on the big picture and actively involve them in the conversation. Try not to rush them if they need time to elaborate on something.
Tips for communication when you’re a Protagonist (ENFJ):
If you encounter criticism, try not to take it emotionally and wait to hear the other person’s arguments. When conversing with introverted communicators, try not to shower them with personal questions and chatter until you get to know them better.
The communication styles of Mediators (INFPs)
Mediators (INFPs) are people who have Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving personality traits.
They tend to be caring, rely on intuition, make decisions based on personal values, and value close relationships.
But, they may also take criticism too personally and have the tendency to overlook details.
When it comes to their communication style, INFPs tend to be encouraging, compassionate, and cooperative communicators.
They are attentive listeners who will try to alter their style to better fit with the people they are communicating with.
They may also come across as reserved and keep their ideas and value from the people they don’t know well.
Tips for communication with Mediators (INFPs):
INFPs like to talk to people who are honest and considerate. Be as sincere as you can when communicating with them as they don’t like to play pretend. Pay attention to how they feel during a conversation and try to be sensitive when criticizing them as they can take things personally.
Tips for communication when you’re a Mediator (INFP):
When talking to the more analytic and practical communicators, understand that they do not mean to hurt or offend you — it’s just their communication style to be more rational than emotional. Don’t let emotions get the better of you and try to remain level-headed in professional settings.
The communication styles of Campaigners (ENFPs)
Campaigners (ENFPs) are people who have Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving personality traits.
They tend to be empathic, spontaneous, and creative. But, they may also be disorganized, get stress out easily, and have difficulties following rules.
When it comes to their styles of communication, ENFPs tend to be collaborative communicators who enjoy exploring possibilities.
They’ll aim to get to know the people they are communicating with and understand what drives them.
They also like to talk about future opportunities and enjoy encouraging others.
Tips for communication with Campaigners (ENFPs):
ENFPs enjoy the company of broad-minded and unprejudiced people. Just like their intuitive counterparts, they value sincerity above all else, so don’t try to deceive them or present yourself as something you’re not. Keep the conversation casual and cordial and don’t try to set rigid rules.
Tips for communication when you’re a Campaigner (ENFP):
Work on your attention span and the stamina to follow through with a plan instead of just bouncing ideas around. This will help people grasp your ideas better and take you seriously. Recognize when you’re seeking outward validation and try to refrain from it. Don’t take things too emotionally.
The communication styles of Logisticians (ISTJs)
Logisticians (ISTJs) are people who have Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, and Judging personality traits.
They tend to be detail-oriented, realistic, and focused on the present.
But, they may also be overly judgmental and quick to assign blame.
When it comes to their communication styles, ISTJs are detail-oriented and specific communicators.
They enjoy using and hearing about practical, factual information when conversing with others.
Tips for communication with Logisticians (ISTJs):
ISTJs respect straight-to-business, practical people, who know what they’re talking about. They like to discuss matters in many practical details. If you’re presenting an idea to them, try to follow a logical sequence and make the presentation structured with a lot of supporting arguments. Try not to dwell on theoretical explanations too much.
Tips for communication when you’re a Logistician (ISTJ):
While it’s admirable that you’re committed to your sense of right and wrong and your duties, try to be more flexible, to avoid coming off as tactless and judgmental. Try assessing each situation on a case-by-case basis. After all, human relationships are not black and white. Work on becoming more open to new ideas and suggestions.
The communication styles of Executives (ESTJs)
Executives (ESTJs) are people who have Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, and Judging personality traits.
They tend to be practical, dependable, and have strong leadership skills.
But, they may also come across as inflexible and overly argumentative.
When it comes to their style of communication, ESTJs tend to be direct in proclaiming their principles and intentions.
In discussions, they are practical and action-oriented communicators — they tend to take control of the conversation and stir communication towards clear and well-organized solutions.
Tips for communication with Executives (ESTJs):
ESTJs love to communicate with dependable and straight-to-the-point people. When talking to them, express confidence in your ideas and present them in a well-rounded and matter-of-fact way. Avoid trying to appeal to their emotional side and be direct when addressing any issues.
Tips for communication when you’re an Executive (ESTJ):
As an ESTJ, you know what you want and how you want it, but try to be more flexible and considerate when working with people. Don’t force your ideas on others and try to be more understanding of different communication styles.
The communication styles of Defenders (ISFJs)
Defenders (ISFJs) are people who have Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Judging personality traits.
They tend to be reliable, practical, and have an eye for details.
But, they may also dislike change, avoid confrontations, and harbor a dislike for abstract concepts.
When it comes to their communication style, ISFJs are supportive and collaborative communicators.
They may not take center stage in group discussions, but they will speak up if they believe their insights would be helpful.
When it comes to solving problems, they tend to give precedence to personal experience, and they will share their own if they believe this will move the discussion in the right direction.
Tips for communication with Defenders (ISFJs):
ISFJs enjoy superficial office relationships with practical coworkers respectful of their privacy. In collaboration with them, it’s best to be conservative and business-oriented yet not cold and unfriendly. Being polite and approaching any conversation from a practical standpoint will earn their affection and appreciation.
Tips for communication when you’re a Defender (ISFJ):
Try not to be too resistant to new ideas, changes, and suggestions from others. While it’s great to seek stability, trying new things could benefit you greatly.
The communication styles of Counselors (ESFJs)
Counselors (ESFJs) are people who have Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Judging personality traits.
They tend to be well-organized, conscientious, and enjoy helping others.
But, they may also be overly sensitive to criticism, dislike change, and prone to seeking approval.
When it comes to their communication styles, ESFJs tend to be enthusiastic and caring communicators, who aim to encourage other people to contribute to the conversation.
They have an excellent memory for details and like to get to know the people they are communicating and collaborating with — but, if the people in question in any way ignore their outreach attempts, they may get frustrated.
They may also get uncomfortable in the face of criticism and conflict, as they thrive on encouragement and support, both as providers and recipients.
Tips for communication with Counselors (ESFJs):
ESFJs enjoy enthusiastic and gregarious interlocutors. For successful communication with them, be practical but also considerate of their emotions, values, and ideas. If you can prove to them that your ideas fit their value system, you will gain their respect. Be careful when directing criticism their way as they may take offense on a personal level.
Tips for communication when you’re a Counselor (ESFJ):
When talking to more introverted and reserved people, pay attention not to become overwhelming. Trying to include them in the conversation at all costs may cause them to withdraw. When you’re under criticism, strive to accept it in a cool and dignified way. Don’t let it affect your emotions and cloud your judgment.
The communication styles of Crafters (ISTPs)
Crafters (ISTPs) are people who have Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, and Perceiving personality traits.
They tend to be action-oriented, practical, and prefer to learn by experience.
But, they may also avoid committing to something and may easily grow bored of subjects.
When it comes to their communication styles, ISTPs tend to be reserved communicators — they prefer concrete action over self-contained conversations.
They have the ability to observe a situation from a purely logical perspective, and are great at picking up on details.
Tips for communication with Crafters (ISTPs):
ISTPs enjoy like-minded, action-oriented people, who are not chatty. Avoid initiating small talk, and if you’re not friends, it’s best to keep your communication work-related. If you want to explain something, it’s better to demonstrate it, if possible, than to talk about it. If you want to get closer to them, ask them to do an activity together, such as go bowling or take a workshop together, instead of inviting them for drinks.
Tips for communication when you’re a Crafter (ISTP):
While you are mostly a rational, cool-headed person, understand that many people are not, and you can hurt their feelings if you’re blunt. Try to weigh your words and their possible effect on the person before blurting them out.
The communication styles of Entrepreneurs (ESTPs)
Entrepreneurs (ESTPs) are people who have Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, and Perceiving personality traits.
They tend to be influential, persuasive, easily-adaptable, and observant.
But, they may also come across as overly competitive and, at times, impulsive.
When it comes to their communication styles, ESTPs tend to be energetic and persuasive communicators.
They are skilled negotiators and have the ability to encourage the people they are conversing with to take some form of action.
At times, they may come across as blunt and impatient, because they tend to speak freely and directly, in order to get their points across as quickly as possible.
Tips for communication with Entrepreneurs (ESTPs):
ESTPs enjoy the company of fun and competitive people and tend to form casual relationships, which don’t delve into emotions and other personal matters too much. You can appeal to them by trying to entertain them or talk about practical things. Don’t talk down to ESTPs or you’ll lose them.
Tips for communication when you’re an Entrepreneur (ESTP):
While some people enjoy straightforwardness in their interlocutors, others are more sensitive to it and may find it hurtful or take it too personally. Try to have more tact when expressing criticism or challenging ideas. Your competitive nature may come across as too aggressive in some social situations, so try to keep it under control.
The communication styles of Adventurers (ISFPs)
Adventurers (ISFPs) are people who have Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Perceiving personality traits.
They tend to be practical, loyal to their values, and enjoy hands-on learning.
But, they may also come across as reserved and quiet and may avoid planning for the future.
When it comes to their styles of communication, ISFPs tend to be supportive and considerate communicators.
They don’t try to take center stage in conversations, but they will attentively listen to others and look for opportunities to contribute with some factual information.
They may also try to avoid conflicts and criticism, for better or for worse — because of this, they prefer more spontaneous interactions.
Tips for communication with Adventurers (ISFPs):
ISFPs get along well with outgoing and friendly people. In communication, you should encourage them and praise their achievements as this motivates them to improve further. Be careful with criticism as it can easily dishearten them. Don’t be surprised if an ISFP seems engaged in the conversation in one minute and aloof in the next — they tend to drift inward from time to time.
Tips for communication when you’re an Adventurer (ISFP):
Sometimes, it may be easier to defer to the interests of others to avoid conflict. But, don’t be afraid to communicate your wants and needs more often.
The communication styles of Entertainers (ESFPs)
Entertainers (ESFPs) are people who have Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Perceiving personality traits.
They tend to be spontaneous, practical, and optimistic.
But, they may also come across as impulsive and may have a tendency not to plan ahead.
When it comes to their communication styles, ESFPs tend to be enthusiastic communicators who thrive off of their interacting with others.
They are quick to give positive feedback and excel at solving problems of practical or interpersonal nature.
But, their optimistic demeanor means they tend to avoid negativity, which leads them to avoid discussions that may swerve off into criticism or conflict.
Tips for communication with Entertainers (ESFPs):
ESFPs love to engage in communication with people who have a positive and laid-back attitude. They are action-oriented and practical, and if you’re trying to present a theoretical issue to them, try to explain how it relates to the real world. If you want to appeal to them, engage them in a light-hearted conversation.
Tips for communication when you’re an Entertainer (ESFP):
As an ESFP, you tend to focus on the positive aspects of any topic, but forced positivity could do you a lot of harm. It’s important to hash out the negatives and potential problems, instead of simply ignoring them. Work on sharpening your focus when conversing with people of different styles of communication than you.
Communication styles of individuals have a significant influence on how their communication unfolds. Because of this, it’s important to understand your own styles, in terms of the styles you may use as a specific personality type, but also in terms of the styles of communication you use to communicate information, either predominantly, or in certain situations, or with certain people. It’s also crucial that you understand the communication styles of the people around you, in order to understand how you should approach communication with them. As a result, you’ll minimize misunderstandings on your end, better understand others, improve the efficiency of your conversations, and improve professional relationships with your colleagues and superiors.
- Communication styles, division by Alessandra & Hunsaker (1993)
- Alessandra, T. and Hunsaker, P. (1993). Communicating At Work. New York: Fireside Books.
- Communication styles, division by Bourne (1995)
- Bourne, J. E. (1995). The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook, 2nd edition. New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
- The communication styles of different MBTI personality types
- The Myers & Briggs Foundation. (n.d.). Retrieved March 4, 2021, from https://www.myersbriggs.org/
- Communication styles, division by Murphy et al.
- Murphy, M. (2015). Which Of These 4 Communication Styles Are You? Forbes. Retrieved March 4, 2021, from https://www.forbes.com/sites/markmurphy/2015/08/06/which-of-these-4-communication-styles-are-you/