How to build an empathetic leadership style

If you’re up to date with the latest business communication trends, you probably know that empathy, empathetic leadership, and empathic communication are what most leaders are trying to achieve. 

As companies are being called out for their hustle culture approach, leaders should focus more on restoring humanity in their workplace. Yet, as Rob Volpe, the CEO at Ignite 360 notes, “there remains a lot of confusion around empathy in general and that is creating challenges for leaders.” 

According to Businessolver’s 2022 State of Workplace Empathy report, Volpe’s got a point. 

About 69% of CEOs believe it’s their job to foster empathy in the workplace but 79% struggle to be empathetic. 

Volpe further elaborates: 

“CEOs recognize they have a role to play with empathy, but they don’t know what to do and worry about how they will be perceived if they are empathetic. It’s time to do a breakdown of empathy and help leaders at all levels understand what it really means to be empathetic and a leader.”

In light of this, we’ll devote this blog post to:

• Defining empathetic leadership and outlining the qualities of empathetic leaders. 
• Exploring the importance of empathy in leadership.
• Taking a look at some famous examples of empathetic leaders.
• Listing some actionable tips for building an empathetic leadership style. 

What is empathetic leadership?

First things first — defining empathetic leadership. 

Several experts on empathy and leadership shared their insights on what empathetic leadership is. 

Let’s see what they had to say. 

Empathetic leadership is smart leadership 

For Volpe, an empathetic leader is a smart leader. 

He elaborates on his claim further: 

Empathetic leadership is about seeing things from someone else’s perspective 

For Brandon Wilkes, Marketing Manager at The Big Phone Store, empathetic leadership is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. 

In his words:

Empathetic leadership creates a space for understanding others 

CEO of Emergenetics International, Marie Unger, defines empathetic leadership in the following way: 

Empathetic leadership is leading with love 

From the point of view of Rani Puranik, Executive VP and Global CFO at Worldwide Oilfield Machine, empathetic leadership translates to leading with love: 

Empathetic leadership puts the needs of others first

CEO of Rhythm Systems, Patrick Thean, defines empathetic leadership as one’s ability to put other people first: 

Moreover, Art Shaikh, Founder and CEO of CircleIt, thinks that understanding others better can help leaders create better company cultures, too: 

Founder and CEO at Kim Crowder Consulting, Kim Crowder, believes that empathetic leadership should even go a step further and dismantle its own biases to allow others to thrive. 

In her words: 

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Being an empathetic and compassionate leader isn’t an easy endeavor, but it’s a very important one. 

Let’s find out why. 

Why is empathetic leadership more critical than ever?

Thean admits that he is drawn to leaders who care about people. 

He believes that empathetic leaders should try to gain their employees’ trust because that’s the best way to inspire them to become the best versions of themselves: 

Moreover, Wilkes believes that empathetic leadership allows leaders to connect with their employees on a deeper level:

From my perspective, cultivating and maintaining empathy is hard, and even more so in the modern business world — the one in which remote work is the new norm. 

I’d love to touch upon this, too. 

How crucial is empathetic leadership in a remote setting? 

Since more companies have switched to a remote or distributed work model, living and breathing empathy can be a bit harder. 

Despite that, Shaikh thinks that this switch emphasizes the need for empathetic leaders even more: 

In one episode of the Level Up Engineering Podcast, Jossie Haines, Executive Coach for Engineering Leaders at Jossie Haines Consulting, talked about the importance of empathetic leadership in a remote environment. 

Haines believes that leaders leading remote teams should have more empathy and understanding for the external challenges people might be facing daily — on top of work responsibilities. 

Challenges to empathetic leadership in a remote environment 

According to Haines, cultivating empathy in a remote work setting can be challenging because: 

• We’re missing a large portion of the verbal and physical cues, which makes it harder to engage with the person on a deeper level.
• We have to be so much more intentional about building our relationships (since we’re devoid of running into people in the coffee room and small-talk situations we can use to get to know someone better). 

Tips for showcasing empathy in a remote environment 

To be able to take empathy to the next level when working remotely, Haines recommends the following:  

Tip #1: Spend the first 5 to 10 minutes of your 1:1 meetings casually chatting with the employee to get them to open up. Don’t look at this as just chit-chat — it’s actually relationship-building.

Tip #2: Take some notes about what’s going on in your employees’ personal lives — it shows your genuine interest and care. 

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Now that we know that empathetic leadership is more important than ever before, let’s explore the ways in which you can become an empathetic leader or improve your existing leadership skills. 

Our contributors believe that it all starts with empathy. 

Why is empathy such an important skill for leaders?

According to Kristen Donnelly, Ph.D., Founder of Abbey Research, her company advocates for inclusivity and curiosity — so that everyone can have a richer and fuller life. 

Within that framework, they define empathy as “the consistent intentional decision to choose understanding over assumptions.”

She believes that we should all strive for empathy on all levels possible:

In addition to Donnelly’s point of view, Wilkes believes the importance of empathy is three-fold.

First, empathy helps build better relationships with team members:  

Empathy also allows leaders to better understand and respond to the needs of their team members: 

Moreover, empathy is a key ingredient in creating a positive work environment: 

In addition, Puranik says that leaders have to stand in the gap and assume the role of a bridge. She explains this further: 

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Besides empathy, what other qualities should an empathetic leader possess? 

Let’s dive deeper into that now. 

What are the qualities of an empathetic leader?

Although empathy is an essential part of being an empathetic leader, it’s not the only quality that empathetic leaders are made of. 

Empathic leadership is also based on: 

• Compassion,
• Trustworthiness,
• Self-awareness,
• Honesty,
• Strength, 
• Communication,
• Active listening,
• Flexibility, 
• A curious mindset, and
• Vulnerability.   

#1: Compassion 

For many, empathy and compassion boil down to the same thing. 

But, according to Heather Younger, an expert on leadership and the author of “The Art of Caring Leadership”, there’s a difference between the two. 

In one Franklin Covey podcast episode, she explained this thoroughly: 

“Empathy and compassion are not the same things. Empathy is the sensing of another person, stepping in their shoes, seeking to understand where they are at, and feeling some of their feelings, if you can. Compassion is the action you take after you sense that.” 

She believes that it’s precisely the compassionate actions that make the person feel cared for: 

“Empathy plus compassion is like an elixir that creates this sense of care that nothing else can.” 

For Younger, caring leadership translates to showing care and kindness for the people you lead consistently and in very specific ways. 

In her book, she highlights specific structures, behaviors, and tactics that can help leaders express care for their employees on a daily basis.

#2: Trustworthiness 

An empathic leader is also a trustworthy one. 

Trustworthiness is reflected in the ability to make people trust you and feel comfortable and safe enough to share their deepest fears and desires with you. 

Wilkes explains what this means in practice: 

What’s more, Puranik believes that trust is fundamental to cultivating empathy in any organization. She explains: 

Overall, building trust and creating a trusting work environment is what an empathetic leader should always aim for. 

#3: Self-awareness 

Another important trait of empathetic leaders is self-awareness. 

For Unger, it’s where it all starts: 

Furthermore, Volpe believes that self-aware leaders are the ones who are capable of bringing about important changes in the workplace, too. 

He clarified this further: 

For Crowder, building awareness is something a leader should never stop doing. But she feels there’s a shortage of such leaders.

She explains: 

#4: Honesty 

Empathy and compassion allow leaders to see things from their perspective and do whatever they need to do. 

Honesty and transparency allow them to build more open relationships with their workers, always sharing with them what’s going on in the company and including them in important decision-making. 

This way, they can build better, more human-centered company cultures. Shaikh explains this a bit further:

#5: Strength 

In one BBC News video, Jacinda Ardern, PM of New Zealand, talked about strength as another key component of empathetic leadership. 

She calls people out for not practicing enough kindness, empathy, and compassion in communication and leadership, emphasizing that being empathetic takes courage and strength.

Even though she has been called out for being too empathetic, she stands behind her convictions and beliefs — she keeps practicing empathy and compassion as a leader. 

So, it’s not always easy to practice empathy — but it’s precisely your strength and courage to always act with it that makes a difference. 

#6: Communication 

Although communication should by default be effective in the workplace, the latest workplace communication statistics show that companies still lose a lot of money due to poor communication. 

Empathetic leadership goes hand in hand with excellent communication skills. There’s nothing that facilitates understanding better than effective communication. 

Additionally, Volpe believes that leaders should reflect empathy in the language and phrases they usually use. 

He recommends:

Fine-tuning your communication skills will benefit not only your employees but also support you on your way to becoming a more empathetic leader. 

#7: Active listening 

Any good communicator should be able to listen actively to those around them, not just people in leading positions. Volpe explains: 

Likewise, Unger believes that active listening is the key part of being an empathic leader: 

In essence, active listening is a learnable and practicable skill. 

And, empathetic leadership should always translate to listening first and speaking second — giving the employee undivided attention and recognition. 

#8: Flexibility 

For most empathetic leaders, being able to quickly evaluate and adapt to the situation, the people they’re talking with, and the atmosphere of the conversation is a particularly vital skill. 

This speaks volumes of a leader’s flexibility — another important leadership quality. 

However, don’t mistake flexibility for something else. 

Flexibility isn’t about bending your own beliefs and values and changing your decisions to make someone else feel good. It’s about standing your ground while accounting for another person’s beliefs, values, ideas, emotions, etc. 

 This goes without saying with empathetic leaders and allows them to: 

• Create a supportive environment for idea-sharing and decision-making. 
• Foster transparency and accountability. 
• Promote a culture of diversity, inclusion, and equity. 
• Cultivate innovation and creativity among employees. 
• Help their employees express their ideas and opinions freely and openly. 

#9: A curious mindset 

Joanna Coles, a famous American journalist, said: 

“As long as you’re interested in people and things, that curiosity propels you forward.”

The same is true for those who are trying to build an empathetic leadership style. 

Donnelly believes curiosity to be the foundation for cultivating empathy: 

Volpe finds it essential for leaders to be curious about the people they are in their surroundings: 

Ultimately, Unger thinks that curiosity is another great way to cultivate empathy: 

In fact, for the curious minds, Donnelly’s company has created a quiz that would give organizations a quick metric of how they’re doing with empathy and how they can improve on that.

#10: Vulnerability 

One of my favorite definitions of trust is the one by Charles Feltman, an expert on trust and a leadership coach. He defines trust as “choosing to make something important to you vulnerable to the actions of someone else.”

With that in mind, we can conclude that vulnerability is essential for building trust between people — in this case between a leader and their employees. 

Yet, being vulnerable seems to be one of the most difficult parts of leadership. Here are Thean’s two cents on vulnerability and trust: 

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Hopefully, knowing the qualities of empathetic leaders will help you improve them easier.

Yet, to help you put everything into perspective, let’s take a look at a few real-life empathetic leadership examples. 

What makes a true empathetic leader?

Famous empathetic leaders: Examples 

We always say that empathy is our ability to put ourselves in other people’s shoes and see things from their perspective.

This is precisely what these people did — consciously put themselves into the shoes of others so that they could see where they were coming from and do something to stir positive changes and progress. 

I’ll mention three examples of empathetic leaders:

1. Mahatma Gandhi, 
2. Jacinda Ardern, and 
3. Satya Nadella. 

#1 Mahatma Gandhi — Indian lawyer, activist, and politician 

“Sympathy is what you have for someone after they die, pity you have for someone when they don’t have a date to the biggest dance of the year. Empathy is what I do to you when you judge me. Envy is having pity on yourself. Can you discern the rest for yourself?”

The essence of Gandhi’s leadership style is reflected in his commitment to freeing the Indian people from British rule and his ability to lead that struggle without personal interest. His only motivation for doing this was to help the people of his country and ensure its independence. 

By putting people and their troubles first, Gandhi was seen as a trustworthy and charismatic leader — he was famous for acting with peaceful resistance and steering clear of violence.

#2 Jacinda Ardern — The youngest female PM of New Zealand 

“One of the criticisms I’ve faced over the years is that I’m not aggressive enough or assertive enough, or maybe somehow, because I’m empathetic, it means I’m weak. I totally rebel against that. I refuse to believe that you cannot be both compassionate and strong.”

Jacinda Ardern represents a new generation of leaders — she stands for strength, empathy, and courage in everything she does. 

She’s managed to effectively handle:

• The COVID-19 crisis. 
• The Christchurch Massacre. 

She is the first New Zealand PM to be pregnant in office — which speaks volumes of her stance on motherhood and business. She believes that role modeling motherhood and leadership can help normalize the role of working mothers and support them in their decisions to balance being moms and building their careers.  

Despite admitting to reaching decisions based on emotions or morals, Ardern doesn’t find this to be a sign of weakness. On the contrary, she’s a firm believer in using emotions for better decision-making.

#3 Satya Nadella — The CEO of Microsoft

“From her [Anu, his wife], I have learned that when I infuse empathy into my everyday actions, it is powerful, whether they be in my role as a father or as a CEO.”

Satya Nadella’s leadership style has greatly been shaped by his personal experiences — having and losing a child with a disability. Luckily for many users, including those with disabilities, Nadella has made it his mission “to empower every person and every organization to achieve more.”

While he’s mostly praised for torpedoing Microsoft into success, Nadella still prioritizes transparency and consistency in communication with his employees. 

Moreover, as a people-oriented leader, Nadella is the embodiment of empathy. He’s known to always grant his employees a second chance — an opportunity to re-think, re-group, and do over.

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Now, although empathy should be our top priority in life, we shouldn’t ignore the fact that it can be hard for us to always strive for it and practice it.

Empathy comes with a few downsides, too. 

Let’s see what they are. 

What are the downsides of being an empathetic leader? 

Considering that empathy assumes investing a lot of your time, energy, and emotions into your relationships with others, it’s expected that you can run into some bumps in the road, too. 

According to Volpe, one common misconception about being empathetic is that you have to give up your own point of view to see the point of view of someone else. 

I agree with him when he says that’s not the case:  

Furthermore, in one article that tackles the downsides of empathy, Graham Johnston explains the downside of always approaching communication with empathy: 

“Empathy is not a universally positive emotional response. Intimate understanding of another’s experience can be used to manipulate and hurt them. As Bloom notes in his book “Against Empathy”, an empathic response can lead to in-group bias, where we value more those who look, sound, and act more like us.”  

Although he wrote from the perspective of psychotherapy and therapist burnout, the same thing can happen with leaders. 

Empathy can push leaders into emotional and mental burnout, so being aware of it and knowing where to draw a line can be one way of avoiding the downsides and using empathy to a mutually beneficial advantage. 

9 Tips for becoming a more empathetic leader

You’ve probably wondered if empathy is an innate characteristic or a learnable skill. 

I can assure you that you can fine-tune your empathetic skills with consistency and effort. 

There are concrete and specific ways in which you can work your way through empathetic leadership. 

We will list and elaborate on some of them. Check out our 9 tips below. 

Tip #1: Nurture your emotional intelligence

In one PsychologyToday article, emotional intelligence is defined as “our ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others.” 

Yet, we can say that emotional intelligence encompasses a few different skills: 

• The ability to identify and name your own emotions,
• The ability to harness your emotions and use them when thinking and solving problems, and 
• The ability to manage emotions — when necessary, regulating both your own emotions and those of the other person. 

Why is this important? 

Emotional intelligence can help you develop healthy responses in communication and help others do the same, especially if you find yourself in a difficult conversation. 

So, don’t be afraid of the emotions you’re feeling — embrace them, identify them, and take them by the hand. 

Tip #2: Take care of your mental and emotional state 

When I think about it, empathetic leadership is a lot like parenting. 

Let’s compare the two.

The work that leaders and parents do can be very exhausting. 

Both leadership and parenting can drain you mentally and emotionally. 

That’s why leaders (and parents) should be aware of the hard work they are doing and take steps to prioritize their mental and emotional well-being. 

	Empathetic leaders	Parents
Are in charge of…	Taking care of and always supporting their employees.	Taking care of and always supporting their children.
Should role model…	Desired behavior at work.	Desired behavior at home.
Teach and role model…	Effective communication at work.	Effective communication at home.
Set and reinforce boundaries…	For their employees in the workplace.	For their children at home.
Take responsibility…	For everyone’s actions in the workplace.	For their kids’ actions at home.
Do…	What they say they would do.	What they say they would do.
Praise….	Their employees for doing a great job at work.	Their children for something they do well at home.
Foster…	Collaboration among employees to ensure they do their best.	Collaboration among children to make sure their children do their best.
Help…	Cultivate a positive workplace atmosphere and strong relationships among employees.	Cultivate a positive atmosphere at home and strong relationships among siblings.

In essence, when you prioritize and take good care of your mental and emotional state, you’ll be able to be there for your employees and provide them with the support they need. 

You can designate time to do things that you enjoy and that make you feel good about yourself — exercising, more time with family, relaxing and watching movies, etc. 

Happy leaders = happy employees, don’t forget that. 

Tip #3: Focus on personal growth

Empathetic leaders know that investing in their personal development translates to being better able to deliver for others — especially in the workplace context.

Crowder suggests the following: 

Work on yourself whenever you get the chance! 

Tip #4: Embrace overcommunication 

One thing you can’t get enough of in the workplace is communication. 

Besides being the very core of employee engagement, communication is also a powerful tool for building your leadership style. 

Moreover, you should aim for overcommunication in the workplace if you want to ensure clarity and provide your employees with purpose. 

What can this mean in practice? 

Some of the ways for leaders to embrace overcommunication can include:

• Setting up some ground rules for healthy communication in the workplace. 
• Engaging in short, yet frequent meetings with your employees. 
• Making your 1:1 meetings with employees more casual and fun.
• Using different channels of communication to keep it interesting and diverse. 
• Addressing potential issues quickly and sharing unpleasant news as quickly as pleasant ones. 

One important takeaway about overcommunication: Don’t confuse it with information overload — i.e. sharing too much irrelevant and poorly timed information among team members within an organization.

Tip #5: Adopt a learning mindset 

As an empathetic leader, you should get used to always having to learn something new. 

How can adopting a learning mindset help you showcase empathy in the workplace? 

It will allow you to: 

• Think outside the box and role model a learning approach to work. 
• Listen to what your employees have to bring to the table and implement the ideas that best support innovation in the workplace. 
• Participate in brainstorming sessions and various project discussions that can birth fresh and original ideas and solutions. 
• See other people’s perspectives on certain workplace issues that will lead to more creative decision-making. 
• Encourage continuous information-sharing and support employees’ further development and growth.

The way Crowder sees it, empathetic leaders should also focus more on learning from those who aren’t usually perceived as leaders. 

Being a fierce advocate for DEI (diversity, equity, inclusion) in the workplace, for her, this learning part translates to focusing more on marginalized groups: 

The quicker you accept that learning should come first, the easier it will be to give everyone a voice and provide them with more opportunities to grow. The greatest part of this is that you get to grow with your employees, too. 

Tip #6: Get used to asking good questions 

For Donnelly, getting into the habit of asking questions is of utmost importance for empathetic leaders. 

She explains: 

Donnelly elaborates why asking questions is important and how it supports empathetic leaders: 

By creating a company culture that supports asking questions, you can restore the human element in your organization and allow your employees to become more comfortable with asking important questions, too. 

It’s what fosters innovation and progress in the world of business.

Tip #7: Acknowledge individual contribution 

Although leaders might consider their “duty” to teach whatever they can to their employees, in today’s modern business world, this might not be the case. 

Thanks to the increasing number of multigenerational and cross-cultural workplaces, there’s a lot of what employees can bring to the table — experience, knowledge, insights, ideas, etc. 

An empathetic leader often recognizes that and isn’t focused on being the sole contributor — instead, they allow others to take over in an attempt to cultivate a more collaborative atmosphere and encourage a DEI approach in the workplace. 

Puranik believes leaders have to completely shut down their competitiveness and embrace individual contributions to bring more value and diversity: 

Accepting the fact that different people will have different ideas and different approaches to work is a great step forward for the leader. 

Crowder also believes that knowing how to praise your teammates and open the right doors for them is what helps build better and more inclusive organizations: 

Tip #8: Encourage constructive feedback practices 

According to the latest workplace communication statistics, managers dislike giving feedback and employees like receiving feedback. 

The problem might lie in the fact that:

• Most leaders haven’t been properly trained to hold constructive feedback sessions, and
• Most employees are reluctant to ask managers for feedback for various reasons. 

It’s reassuring that 72% of employees feel their performance would improve if their managers provided corrective aka “negative” feedback. 

But, it also shows us that empathetic leaders should invest more time and energy into creating a psychologically safe space for their employees and encourage them to proactively seek meaningful feedback and use it to their advantage. 

Tip #9: Get to know your employees 

Workplace communication should remain professional and formal to some extent — but, let’s remember that most of us are working in remote and hybrid work environments. 

This means that we’re often devoid of casual small talk, get-togethers after work, and water cooler situations. 

This also means that we have fewer opportunities to meet our employees and teammates outside of work and get to know them better. 

However, leaders should make an effort and try to recreate these situations over the screen and during their regular one-on-ones or virtual group meetings.

On the plus side, you can always chit-chat with your employees via your employee communication app and get comfortable with talking about non-work-related stuff — movie preferences, favorite food, or anything else for that matter.  

When you invest in informal two-way communication at work, you’re actually promoting healthy communication boundaries in your team and helping them feel more comfortable even when working remotely.

Once you get past the initial awkwardness, you’ll see that getting to know your employees can be done even over the screen. 

In conclusion: Building an empathetic leadership style is hard but worth the effort

If you thought that establishing yourself as an empathetic leader would be easy, you were wrong. 

It will probably be one of the hardest things you’ll do for yourself (and for others) — but also the most rewarding, too. 

The benefits of cultivating empathy in the workplace are manyfold as empathy: 

• Fosters a sense of belonging and purpose. 
• Keeps the employees motivated and empowered to do their best. 
• Creates a sense of care and trust between you and your employees. 
• Pushes leaders to become better listeners and problem-solvers. 
• Helps boost employee morale, productivity, and efficiency. 
• Supports employees’ overall happiness and well-being. 
• Moves the company forward and drives better outcomes. 

You should strive for acting with empathy in every situation possible, just remember to protect yourself along the way. Leaders often forget that they, too, can fall victim to emotional overload and burnout. 

Acting with empathy and compassion is beneficial for everyone only if it’s beneficial to everyone involved. 

✉️ What is your experience with empathetic leadership? Do you think that empathy can be learned and perfected like every other skill? Do you find it hard to showcase empathy in the workplace? Share your experience and insights at blogfeedback@pumble.com and we may include your answers in this or future posts. And if you liked this blog post and found it useful, share it with someone you think would also benefit from it.